Contract!!!

The contract is finally here!! It seems like it took an eternity to get here. Ok, let’s be honest I was officially matched with my IPs in November and met them in person and had the RE visit in December. So it has really only been about 2 ½ months which has felt like an eternity to me. How can anyone expect you to be patient in a process like this?!? Hello, a baby! It takes 9-10months to cook and people expect me to be patient! OK, let’s just be really honest….I have no patience! I have no idea how I lasted 6 years in the military without any patience.

When this whole process started my husband and I thought about going independent (not use an agency). The more we read about it on the internet the more we realized that we knew nothing about the whole surrogacy process. We decided to go with an agency in order to protect our family. I wasn’t going to let my dream hurt my family in anyway. I am sure many have read the horror stories about intended parents who refused to pay medical bills or changed their mind once the baby was born and didn’t take the baby. Yes, these are just horror stories but they were enough to caution me to protect myself and my family.

Well, we didn’t start out with an agency. I actually met someone who lives only a few hours from me. Who would have thought! Her story broke my heart. We e-mailed each other for about 4 months. She contacted her RE and said that everything was lined up and ready to go. She had frozen embryos that she wanted to use. Every time I would ask her what her plan was for an attorney and health insurance to cover the pregnancy she would never answer the e-mails. This was a red flag for me. I had gotten close to her and was really excited to help her and her husband build a family. It was great that she lived so close. But after getting the run around I knew it wasn’t going anywhere and I didn’t feel safe. It was a horrible let down.

I am so thankful for the agency we selected! They are amazing!

Oh jeez, back to the contract!! That is what this whole blog was supposed to be about (oops). So it finally came!! It was over 30 PAGES LONG! It took a while to read through but out of 30 pages we didn’t find any discrepancies. It actually contained a surprise in it. As a surrogate I expected to add my own clause in the contract about getting to hold the baby. Many surrogates don’t get to even hold the baby when it is born and many don’t want to. I know that I certainly do want to hold that cute new bundle of joy. After talking to many women who have been surrogate mothers, it seemed this is something that I would have to add into the contract to ensure it happened.

This is not the case! The IPs put it in the contract themselves that I can visit with the baby before it leaves the hospital. They even included my family in it! I thought this was very thoughtful. I have always felt very close to my IPs since we were matched but to be included like this by them was amazing! I meet with my attorney on Friday to go over the contract and then (hopefully soon) the final one will be sent for signatures!!! Then to start the meds…..oh the meds….

So the moral of the story….I will try to have patience because in this case it is worth the wait!!!